Written by: Alexa Bailey, MSW, LCSW
The online world is both a big and small place at the same time. It’s where we connect with others, explore our interests, and even where we meet new people. Because the online space is so vast and so open, navigating boundaries online can be tricky. Not only the boundaries we have with others, but also the boundaries we have with ourselves. And in creating and maintaining these boundaries, we also have to be cautious of cyberbullying and keep ourselves safe.
There are many people who will demonize online connection and talk about all the bad stuff, so let’s take a second to talk about the good. Being able to connect online means that relationships don’t have to end because of distance. We have the ability to find more people who share our interests and ideas and have a space within which we can explore. With this great opportunity comes the balancing act of knowing how to stay safe in these online spaces. Brené Brown, a social researcher, has said: “Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: ‘Who has earned the right to hear my story?’”. Knowing who feels trustworthy can be a tricky thing because we can feel so comfortable with people online, even when we’ve never met them in person. And the reason this becomes important is knowing how to protect yourself from cyberbullying.
Cyberbullying can be defined with a few characteristics:
- Repeatedly teasing, making fun of, or criticizing a person online or picking on them via text, DM, or email
- Saying something bad about someone in a post or leaving critical/sarcastic comments
- Making online threats, spreading rumors, and posting unflattering pictures or videos, and ridiculing publicly through social media or other means
To be on the receiving end of this negative energy can cause mental, emotional, and even physical effects. Caution should be used when connecting online to make sure that who you are getting vulnerable with has earned the right to hear your story. Some boundaries to think about in knowing who is trustworthy and being able to understand your own intuition come down to time, information, and limits.
- Explore and get curious with how much time is healthy and balanced for you to be online. Our real-life interactions are just as important as online connections, and we need breaks. Talk about it with trusted people to come up with a plan for what kind of time limits you want for yourself online.
- Be thoughtful and intentional with how much and what kind of information you share online. Even when we have the best intentions, people can abuse online spaces for phishing schemes and identity theft, so limit the kind of information you share, and be picky about who you share it with.
- Limit technology use around certain times and priorities. When we can be present in our lives, it helps balance our emotions and energy. Think about creating your own screen time limits.
Technology is awesome and it also requires us to be vigilant with how we use it. You know yourself best, so listen to your needs and set boundaries that allow you to feel empowered and in control.
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Alexa Bailey is a Licensed Master of Social Work (LMSW), who works in private practice providing therapeutic services at Evolve Counseling. She has experience treating several different populations and areas, including trauma, anxiety, depression, relational challenges, and life transitions with both young adults/adolescents and adults. Alexa is a big advocate of self-care and creating whole personal wellness through positive change and healthy habits.