Written by: Caitlin Alfonso, LMSW
I need help. Three simple words, but when combined they can suddenly become complex and difficult to say. Why is that though? The reality is that we are social beings, and therefore we aren’t meant to go through life alone. However, there are many perceived barriers that often hinder us from asking for help.
- Believing it is a sign of weakness
Somewhere along the way, asking for help became stigmatized. Generations have perpetuated this falsehood that admitting we need support or asking for help means that we are weak. However, to show up as your authentic self and be vulnerable is the most courageous thing we can do as humans. As Les Brown said, “Ask for help. Not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong”.
- Not knowing who to ask
Sometimes we don’t know who we can and/or should go to for help. Friends can be a great source, but depending on your needs a trusted adult may be important. For some, this might be a family member. However, sometimes a trusted adult may be a school counselor, teacher, coach, club advisor, youth group leader, or even a hotline operator. Keep in mind that a trusted adult doesn’t always mean that you know them, but that they can likely be trusted to listen to you, help you navigate your concerns, and if needed make tough decisions to help keep you safe.
- Fear
Fear holds us back from a lot of things, but especially from asking for help. Some may fear being rejected. What if I ask, and they say no? Others may fear being seen as a burden on others. However, a big fear is fear of the unknown. Often, people do not know what resources are available to support them and they are afraid of how things may change – either in their relationships or with their routines. The reality is there are a lot of resources in various communities intended to support and help people through a variety of experiences. You may be connected with a peer support group, therapist for 1:1 sessions, after-school tutoring, additional coaching/mentoring time, or even medical support and assessments. The unknown doesn’t have to be scary but can be an opportunity to become the best version of yourself.
Asking for help doesn’t have to be hard, and it certainly isn’t a weakness. Remember, we all need help throughout our lifetime.
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Caitlin Alfonso is a lover of coffee, reading, traveling and her dog, Remy. She is a Licensed Master Social Worker and owner of Acornic Consulting, LLC.