Written by: Dr. Charlotte Markey
Diet culture tries to convince us that we can control our bodies. Caring for them is much more important.
Girls’ and women’s bodies are often the focus of attention. This isn’t always positive attention, but attention focused on how our bodies “should” look. It is easy to hear all of the cultural messages about our bodies (even if we don’t think we are listening) and feel inadequate. These messages tell us that:
- we can control our bodies and our health,
- there is one “right” way to have a body, and
- we’re obligated to fix our bodies when they don’t match these expectations.
These messages are everywhere, but they’re also misleading. They push us to keep striving for a body that is slender in all the “right” places, muscular in all the “right” places, and voluptuous in all the “right” places. (The “right places” are different for individuals who identify as male versus female.). There is a quote (sometimes attributed to Albert Einstein) that, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Trying to control our bodies, rather than care for them, can feel like that kind of madness.
Here’s what psychological and medical research actually indicate:
- We don’t have total control over our health or our appearance.
Yes, with enough time, will, and money, you can change your eating habits, exercise routines, even consult doctors, or get cosmetic procedures. But those changes might not last, and they might take a toll on your time, energy, and well-being. Factors like your genes and access to resources also play a big role in both your mental and physical health.
- Every body is unique.
You might have your dad’s nose or your mom’s stress-induced stomachaches, but your body is entirely your own. You could try to look like your favorite celebrity, influencer, or even someone at school, but no matter how hard you try, your body will still be your body. Even if you ate and exercised exactly the same as someone else, your bodies would still look different– and that’s okay!
- Changing your health or appearance is not something you have to do.
It’s normal to care about how we feel and how we look. But diet culture pushes the idea that we should constantly be trying to improve. What if… we’re actually fine as we are? A lot of people profit from our insecurities, but no product, pill, or plan can give us happiness or perfection.
Cultural messages make it seem like our appearance is a full-time “project” that always needs work. But what if we invested that time and energy into hobbies, interests, or helping others? Although it might not make sense to try to control how our bodies look, we can control how we use them– for creativity, connection, joy, and purpose.
Note: This article was adapted from Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life (www.TheBodyImageBookforLife), a book for late teens