Written by: Morgan Winder, MSW, LMSW
“Trust is earned when actions meet words”
– Chris Butler
To trust someone means to be able to have reliance on someone’s character, the ability to have the truth of something and someone. Trust plays a fundamental role in every relationship we have including friendships, romantic relationships, work relationships and family relationships. Trust is also something we struggle with several times in our live. Challenges with trust can appear in various ways such as, how to build trust with someone, how to trust someone who has hurt you, as well as how to earn trust back.
Trust can be extremely difficult. It is challenging and forces us to become vulnerable and allow our guard to fall to let someone in. When I think about trust, I always think about Brené Brown’s anatomy of trust. Brené Brown describes the steps to trusting someone as BRAVING. Let’s talk through each component of braving:
Boundaries – if your boundaries are respected and you can hold firm to them, as well as respect others boundaries, you both can trust that this will be respected.
Reliability – actions speak louder than words; reliability is key when forming trust. We do what we say we will do that is within our boundaries.
Accountability – accountably requires both parties to take accountably for their own actions and mistakes in the relationship, which will allow for a strong connection and trust.
Vault – having a vault means that what you share will not be shared with others. We are less likely to trust others if we are unsure that what we say will stay in a vault.
Integrity – is the practice of being honest, and showing consistency in any relationship. Integrity ensures fairness and adhering to morals to our relationships and ourselves.
Non-judgmental – if we are going through a difficult moment, there is no judgment and there is unconditional support. Not being judged by a loved one, friend, co-worker or family member allows us to feel that we can be vulnerable.
Generosity – generosity is showing up to the relationship with kindness and thoughtful gestures, words or behaviors. This can help strengthen trust and a relationship by exhibiting kind actions.
Strong trust takes time, be patient and trust your intuition.
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Morgan is a Licensed Master Social Worker, she completed her degree with a concentration of direct practice with children, youth and families. Morgan specializes in working with teens, and families. Morgan is passionate on helping teens with anxiety, depression and self-esteem.