By Kizzy Kittrell Dogan – – –
Truthfully, there Is Nothing Wrong With Saying NO! I encourage you to practice using NO as a complete sentence. NO does not require an explanation because NO is final, decisive, and absolute. NO is powerful, and it is one of the few universal words with the same pronunciation and meaning everywhere. What does the word NO mean? To me, NO is like a verbal stop sign. Have you noticed that no one questions a stop sign? No one looks around at a stop sign to examine why it’s there or how long it’s been there. We automatically know what to do when we see one. However, hearing NO does not always render the same understanding and respect as a stop sign for some.
This article is not a lesson in what NO means. It’s a lesson in what NO does. When I first became aware of my voice, rights, and who I am as a person and a female, I discovered that NO is one of my greatest power weapons. Did you hear me? Saying NO is empowering. NO brings freedom, and NO also forces imagination and creativity. I remember I was in love with a pair of shoes; however, my grandmother said NO. Not that I couldn’t have them, but she couldn’t afford to buy them. At first, I was upset, and after I got over the initial sting of NO, I was able to turn lemons into lemonade. At the time, I was living in Maryland, and they didn’t offer youth summer jobs. My aunt lived in DC, and I knew that if I convinced my family to allow me to move with her for the summer to work, I could get my shoes and much more. When you are told NO, instead of getting angry or discouraged, get creative and think of safe and alternative ways to get the desires of your heart.
If you’re not feeling empowered, maybe it’s because you are not saying NO enough. Your hesitation and resistance to saying NO weigh heavily on you when you opt to do something you don’t want to do. This article aims to open your feelings about saying yes to NO. To not have the word NO in your arsenal is equivalent to not having an arsenal at all. Start practicing saying NO and see the effects of the word NO. Imagine someone saying, “Kizzy (Insert your name) can you come and pick me up? If I can and choose to, the answer is likely, yes; however, if I can’t or do not want to, my response is NO. Remember that you do not have to explain your NO (It’s not your job to help others digest NO).
There have been times when I have felt compelled to explain my NO, and because of the guilt, I found myself backpedaling and doing that very thing I initially didn’t want to do. Sometimes I don’t have a reason for saying NO. I just feel the need to exercise my power #iamagirl, and it’s my birthright to express NO. I like to see people’s reactions when I tell them NO. Their response is telling. I need to know how someone receives it because it’s a tell-tell sign of their character. Even though an explanation is not required, some people deserve an explanation. Not out of obligation or guilt, but because you want to provide clarity. Either way, NO is appropriate if it’s your choice.
Get acquainted with NO. Practice saying it with me, Nooooo!
***********************************************************************************************************
Kizzy Kittrell Dogan, is the Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of T&G Commercial Cleaning, LLC, Founder of Love Circle Inc, Author of Thirteen: Lessons for Every Teen Girl’s Journey to Womanhood, Contributor to IamTeenStrong.com, Workshop Facilitator, and Keynote Speaker. As The Teen Girl Mentor, Kizzy transforms and empowers teen girls to discover their purpose, passion, and superpowers.