Written by: Dr. Charlotte Markey
Growing up, most of us learn a lot of “food rules.” We’re supposed to have breakfast before heading off to school, eat our vegetables before having dessert, and avoid swimming right after eating. These rules are created by people who care for us: parents, teachers, and doctors, so that we don’t end up hungry or sick. The problem is that most food rules are informed by little (if any) scientific evidence, and many may do more harm than good.
As infants, we didn’t know any of these rules and we ate intuitively. Research suggests that intuitive eating is a psychologically and physically healthy approach to eating. In other words, it is what most of us are born doing; infants cry when they are hungry and stop eating when they are full. Driven by physiological signals, infants tend to eat in accordance with their needs. At some point during childhood, our family and cultural food rules interfere with the ability to attend so completely to our sense of hunger and fullness. Instead, people start to eat before school so that they don’t get hungry later; they eat at snack or lunch time at school because those are the only options they have during the day. People also start to eat certain types of foods for certain meals. They might even engage in diets or meal plans for the sake of health or in the hopes of weight loss, and often start to discount feelings of hunger or fullness. (Dieting is not a healthy way to approach food; see here https://iamteenstrong.org/holiday-treats-eatand-enjoy/ for more information on this issue.)
In addition to eating an amount that is satisfying, intuitive eating prescribes eating the types of foods we desire. The goal is not necessarily to eat potato chips for three meals a day because that is what you’d most like to do, but to eat potato chips without any guilt. This is an important element of intuitive eating: remove the sense that some foods are “forbidden fruit.” Typically, once we view foods as “allowed,” they become less exciting; they’re just foods we can choose to eat – or not.
Of course, a doughnut and a kale salad are not nutritionally the same. You may already know that the nutritional virtues of kale – Vitamins A, B6, C, K, and calcium to name a few – are superior to those of doughnuts. But as a psychologist who has studied people’s eating behaviors for over 25 years, I am more interested in the relationship people have with food than the nutrients in any given bite.
What do I mean by the relationship that people have with food? I mean: how do you approach and experience food? A healthy relationship with food allows for enjoyment of food, attention to physiological cues concerning hunger and satiety (e.g., a growling or full stomach, light-headedness due to hunger), consumption of a variety of foods, and flexible thinking about the different benefits foods offer, whether those benefits be nutritional or psychological (e.g., they taste good). Unfortunately, many people do not have a healthy relationship with food, instead finding themselves surrounded by food rules – rules that may include avoiding some foods completely.
We were born intuitive eaters and most of us can benefit from returning to a more intuitive approach to eating. Sometimes this may take months to adjust to and sometimes professional help is needed (i.e., from a therapist or intuitive eating counselor). Food is an important part of our daily lives, and it should be an enjoyable part, so it’s worth getting the support you need to return to the way you’re meant to eat.
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This article was adapted from Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life, which will be published in 2024. For more information about The Body Image Book series by Dr. Charlotte Markey, go to: www.TheBodyImageBookforGirls.com