What comes to mind when you hear the word – “perfection”? Is it an image, a feeling, or is it a person or an object?
Unpacking perfection, in my experience, comes in layers. There are many ways that our society quietly teaches us about perfection. It could be a line in a movie or tv show, a magazine article, or online interview. It turns out that how we feel about perfection is often inherited from our caregivers and the information we’re surrounded by. Let’s unpack a few different areas perfection may play a role.
How we look
Do you feel like you need to look a certain way when you leave the house? Perhaps there are clothes you don’t wear outside of the comfort of your home, or your hair or makeup has to be done a certain way. Explore this.
What is it about these things that make them feel important? What’s at the root of these feelings? Do you feel you will be judged? Belonging to a family, group, or community is important and essential to us as humans, it dates back to prehistoric times. So while being accepted and a part of something may matter, feeling like you can’t leave the house without makeup is simply a discomfort and something you can explore to develop more confidence and resilience because regardless of how you look, you are deserving of love, respect, and admiration.
Going with the flow
Are there certain ways things “have to be done” in your house, room, world? Where did these come from? Did you set them up or did someone else? I used to feel like many things in my life had to be done a certain way “or else.” When I came to realize just how many of these were present in my life, it was exhausting. So slowly, one by one I began to notice “why” it was I felt like it had to be done just one way. You know what happened? I set myself freeee. I allowed myself to step into a new version of myself, allowing more flow and ease in my life.
And sure, there are still certain things that are helpful if done this way or that, however, having options for how things get done creates more space, ease, and peace in my life than ever before.
Webster.com defines perfection as an “exemplification of supreme excellence.” but the more important question is, how do you feel about it?
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Kristen Donia is a freelance writer living in a tiny house she built in sunny Southern Oregon. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Education and has dedicated her life to studying and writing about empathy, vulnerability and enriching the human experience.