Written by: Morgan Liptak, MAS, LAMFT
Summer has the potential to be the best time of the year for so many reasons. It is usually associated with a break from school, warmer weather, vacations to the beach or lake, relaxing by the pool, barbecues, and making memories with friends and family. While it may be all rest and no stress for some, summer is bittersweet for others. It arrives loaded with societal expectations for the all too well known ‘summer body’. The idea that one’s body needs to be smaller to feel good wearing certain types of clothing and bathing suits leads to disordered eating, body image issues, and overall decreased self-confidence. Messages about weight loss, fitness plans, dieting, and “summer body goals” can seem like they are everywhere right now. So how can you enjoy the summer season just as you are, all while building up confidence even more along the way? Let’s talk about it.
First and foremost, you are so much more than your body size. I recommend focusing more on yourself as a whole and recognizing that your entire worth does not depend on any one part of you, especially not the size and shape of your body. Any journey to building self-confidence can begin by simply reflecting on everything you are already good at, everything you’ve already achieved on your own, and all the wonderful personality traits you possess. It might sound easy enough to get a pen and a piece of paper and go wild, but this can be one of the hardest lists one can write about themselves, especially when struggling with self-confidence. So, give yourself some grace, feel free to come back to the list from time to time, adding things when you think of them. It can even act as an ongoing little confidence boost all summer long when you remember something you want to add!
Next up, goal setting. Summer is a great time to do some self-reflection halfway through the year and decide what you want to work on for yourself. Take some time to create goals that don’t have anything to do with physical appearance because we are working on challenging the negative feelings associated with ‘summer bodies’ here. Setting attainable goals and reaching them is an excellent way to build confidence in yourself. Not only are you already showing yourself some confidence by setting the goal you know you can reach but then once you do reach it, how amazing do you think you’ll feel? You might even be confident enough to set some more, no pressure though!
Lastly, take control of the messages you are being influenced by. Set aside some time to unfollow social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself, that you find yourself comparing your body to, that are promoting unhealthy behaviors, and just aren’t positive for your self-esteem. Only you can be the judge of that. On the flip side, maybe find some accounts that promote body positivity, self-confidence, and/or similar goals that you have for yourself. You can also look for books and podcasts that are sharing similar messages.
Control what you’re taking in and the increased self-confidence you’re putting out is sure to follow!
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Morgan is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Arizona State University. She specializes in working with children, teens, and families struggling with anxiety, depression, disruptive behaviors, self-esteem, life transitions, trauma, and the parent-child relationship.