Written by: Morgan Liptak, MAS, LAMFT
Navigating your teenage years can be difficult for a variety of reasons. There is the pressure to succeed academically, everchanging social dynamics, peer pressure and bullying, competition in sports, clubs, and hobbies, as well as the overarching uncertainty of what the future holds. It probably seems obvious by now but pushing teens to do their most without any sort of balance will most likely lead to burnout, increased anxiety, depression, and/or lack of success down the road.
Luckily, society appears to be recognizing the crucial role that mental health and well-being play in academic success and overall development for students. Because of this, many schools are implementing changes to prioritize and nurture these needs. Counseling services, peer support programs, anti-bullying initiatives, and mental health awareness campaigns are just some of the developments being put into place in many schools. Added curriculum is also being taught to produce well-rounded students, including topics such as emotional intelligence, stress management, healthy coping skills, time management, study habits, and goal setting.
All these resources certainly provide a great foundation for teens to thrive; however, the path toward overall well-being and success appears to be much more multidimensional. Personal growth happens outside of the classroom too. Teens must put in the work to create some balance and prioritize areas of their life accordingly. This might look like accepting that you can’t do every extra credit assignment, get the best score on every test, enroll in every advanced subject, play every sport, or take a position in every club. Maybe it will look like joining the club you’ve never had time for because you chose to take 1 AP class instead of 3 this year or you try a new sport because gave yourself permission to leave the one that was too mentally draining for you.
Emotional regulation is an important skill to practice while juggling the stress of academics with personal development. There are many situations that may feel big, scary, important, or like the end of the world from time to time. In these moments, I encourage you to pause, try and stay present, and ask yourself these few questions: Will this still matter in 6 weeks? Will this still matter in 6 months? Will this still matter in 6 years? Validate your big emotions, be honest with yourself about the answer to these questions and remind yourself that this feeling is temporary.
Another way teens can create balance in their lives is through self-reflection. Self-reflection is a valuable tool that can be used on the journey toward personal growth and often leads to academic success and improved mental health. There are many ways to use self-reflection to your benefit:
Goal setting: What are your short-term and long-term goals academically, socially, and personally? What are you doing to work toward them? How can you regularly review and adjust them, so they stay realistic and achievable?
Strengths & Weaknesses: Where do you excel and where do you want to improve? This can also help you learn from past mistakes and explore how to learn from them.
Values & Beliefs: What matters most to you and do your actions align with this?
Emotional Awareness: How do your emotions affect your behavior? Understand your emotional triggers and learn to manage your emotions effectively.
The personal growth that results from self-reflection and creating balance in life often leads to higher self-confidence, increased positive relationships, better decision-making skills, and improved academic and physical performance. So, as you can see, it really is a balancing act, to nurture each area of life equally as opposed to giving maximum effort to just one. Next time you are struggling in school or feeling overwhelmed, stop to check in on how balanced the other areas of your life are to ensure your overall well-being is at its best.
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Morgan is a Licensed Associate Marriage and Family Therapist who earned her master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy from Arizona State University. She specializes in working with children, teens, and families struggling with anxiety, depression, disruptive behaviors, self-esteem, life transitions, trauma, and the parent-child relationship.