Written by: Ema Grant, MS, LPC
Determining your next best steps based on your values and goals
Our lives are made up of a series of choices – some large and some small. We make hundreds of small decisions every single day about things like what we’ll wear, how we’ll spend our free time, whether or not we’ll do our homework. But then there are the big decisions – what activities or clubs we will join, who we will have romantic relationships with, where we will go for college, what we will do for a career, where we will live. These decisions can feel overwhelming, especially when there is really no “wrong” answer or “bad” choice. If you feel stuck, these decision-making strategies may help you determine the next best step in your life.
Chase the Decision Down
Think about the decision you want to make, then ask yourself about the potential risks, identify the important facts and precautions to minimize risks, and then reflect – is this where you really want to go? For example, maybe you want to go to college out of state. Risks: This is more expensive than in-state and requires more effort of packing and moving. Facts: You’ll have to have a job while in school. You’ll have to move in and out of the dorms every semester, so about eight to ten times before graduation. Precautions: You can get scholarships and use a storage facility for your belongings. Reflection: Is this really how you want to spend your time and energy over four to five years of your life? Yes – then go for it! No – then this is not the right path for you!
Pros and Cons
Most decisions have both positive and negative outcomes regardless of the choice we make. Taking time to look at these possibilities can help us identify what direction we truly want to go. Let’s say you’re deciding whether to try out for the basketball team or sign up for the school choir. What are the pros (positives) of being on the basketball team? What are the cons (negatives)? Maybe you really love basketball and playing sports, but you know the practice, games, and tournaments will take up a lot of your free time. So, what about choir? What are the pros? What are the cons? Maybe you don’t enjoy singing as much as playing sports, but you know choir will only take one class period and occasional concerts. Now you have to determine what matters most to you. If you have lots of other hobbies and want to have time for other things, basketball may not be a good fit. However, if you have the time to give and you love basketball that much, choir will not be the best fit.
Saying Yes means Saying No
Any time we choose one path – say ‘yes’ to one course of action – we are automatically saying ‘no’ to another path. Let’s say you have a challenging paper to do this weekend for a class where your grade is on the line. But your favorite band is also in town and your friend has access to discounted tickets. You won’t have time to go to the concert and do your homework. You could say ‘yes’ to the concert, it is a rare opportunity and a great deal, but that will mean saying ‘no’ to getting an A or B on the paper. But maybe your GPA is important to getting into the college you want, and getting a C will make that even harder. You may need to say ‘yes’ to your grades, and have to say ‘no’ to the concert. Sometimes considering the sacrifice of each choice can help put our decision in perspective.
As you can see, most decisions we make don’t really have a “right” or “wrong” outcome. Instead, we often have to decide between the good choice and the better choice. When we get clear about our values, goals, and priorities these decisions become much simpler to make.
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Ema is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the State of Arizona and graduated with a master’s in professional counseling from Grand Canyon University. As part of the Evolve Counseling team, Ema specializes in treating trauma, grief, and life transitions in adolescence through adulthood.