Written by: Dr. Charlotte Markey
Body neutrality can be a really helpful way for girls to build self-esteem because it teaches something important: your worth is not based on how you look. A lot of girls grow up feeling like they are supposed to constantly think about their appearance—whether they are pretty enough, thin enough, fit enough, or stylish enough. Social media, advertisements, movies, and even comments from other people can make it seem like your body is the most important thing about you. That can be exhausting. Body neutrality offers another option.
Some body image scholars and activists have suggested that trying to have a “positive body image” all the time can sometimes keep people very focused on their appearance. In other words, even trying to feel good about how you look may still involve thinking about how you look a lot. If that sounds familiar, body neutrality may feel more comfortable. The goal of body positivity is often to love your body, while the goal of body neutrality is simply to not spend so much time judging your body in the first place.
That might sound strange at first. You may wonder: “Shouldn’t I try to love my body?” Of course, it’s wonderful when people feel good about their bodies. But the truth is that most people do not love every part of themselves every second of every day. That’s normal. Body neutrality reminds us that we can still respect and care for our bodies even on days when we don’t feel especially confident about our appearance.
For example, imagine you are getting ready for school and suddenly become upset because you do not like how your stomach looks in your shirt. Body neutrality might help you pause and think: “My stomach does not need to look perfect for me to have a good day.” Or maybe you feel self-conscious in gym class. Instead of focusing on whether your body looks athletic or attractive, body neutrality encourages you to think about what your body can do. Your legs help you run. Your lungs help you breathe. Your arms help you throw a ball, hug a friend, or create art. Your body is important because it helps you live your life, not because it meets someone else’s beauty standards.
Body neutrality can also help girls spend more time thinking about the things that truly matter to them. When people are constantly worried about appearance, they may have less energy for friendships, hobbies, sports, creativity, learning, or helping others. But when appearance becomes less central, there is more room for other parts of identity to grow. You become more than “the girl who looks good” or “the girl who worries about her weight.” You become a whole person with talents, interests, values, and dreams.
Another important thing to remember is that body neutrality does not mean ignoring your body. It does not mean pretending your feelings do not exist. Instead, it means treating your body with respect even when your feelings are complicated. You can nourish yourself, move your body, rest, wear clothes you enjoy, and take care of your health without constantly judging your appearance.
For some girls, body neutrality may eventually lead to body positivity. For others, simply feeling peaceful or content with their body may be enough. And honestly, contentment can be a beautiful thing. You do not need to think your body is perfect in order to deserve happiness, confidence, friendship, success, or love. Your body is just one part of who you are—and not the most important part.