Written by: Hannah Schlueter, MA, LAC
Do you ever feel like the way you present yourself isn’t really you? Maybe you have found yourself putting on a mask or feeling pressured to act a certain way and like certain things when talking with your friends and loved ones. First, it is important to know that you are not alone. That being said, it can also be really uncomfortable to hide parts of yourself or act out of character for the sake of others. This often leads to higher levels of sadness and disconnection because it doesn’t feel like the real you. Becoming your true self requires authenticity. Living authentically means living by your own needs and values rather than what others expect from you. Basically, authenticity means making decisions based on what feels most in sync with your true self. Here are three steps to build more authenticity into your life.
- Align with your values
Living a more authentic life starts with acting in accordance to your personal values. Some examples of core personal values include honesty, kindness, creativity, generosity, courage, loyalty, and much more. Ask yourself what an average day would be like when living by your top three personal values and how you would feel doing so. If you are having trouble identifying your values, check out I am Teen Strong’s previous article here for more details.
- Identify barriers
Next is to look at what is holding you back from being able to be more authentic. Are there certain environments, situations, or people in your life that lead you to act outside of your true self? This requires an honest look at what overrides your authenticity. Maybe it’s the need to be liked, to fit in, or avoid judgement. Whatever it is, look for ways to reduce the barriers holding you back from living authentically. This will help you fill the gap between who you are now and who you want to be.
- Build your self-confidence
A crucial part of being more authentic is establishing a strong sense of self-confidence. Acting in alignment with your truest self may not always be the easiest thing to do. Others may expect or even pressure you to act outside of your values, so it is vital that you have confidence in yourself and your decisions. Having confidence also means that you’ll have to accept the consequences of being true to yourself and what you consider to be right, whether that be facing conflict, judgement, or possibly losing friends because of it.
Living authentically means acting in a way that fulfills your core values and emotional needs. While it will not always be straightforward, it does lead to more respect and integrity as well as better problem-solving skills and reduced stress. Authenticity allows you to take control of your life and will lead to many amazing opportunities to support the truest version of you.
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Hannah Schlueter is a Licensed Associate Counselor (LAC) who provides therapeutic services at Evolve Counseling. Hannah specializes in working with teens and enjoys helping them navigate anxiety, depression, identity struggles, self-esteem, and relationships. Hannah has a passion for helping teens overcome their challenges and empower them to grow and improve their overall well-being.